10 Powerful Lessons From The Book "Surrounded by Idiots"

1. Surrounded by idiots aims to help you get past the mentality of assuming you're surrounded by idiots.

2. You understand people better when you understand the language of behavior.

The author's method is the DISA model.

• Dominance
• Inducement
• Submission
• Analytical

Each explains a primary type of behavior.

3. When you communicate the listener filters it into a message they can understand.

Rarely, is this message what you meant to communicate.

4. Adapt your communication based on the behavior type of the listener.

Communicate on their terms, with language familiar to them.

5. The only times it's effective to communicate without adapting is when you're alone or in a room with people just like you.

Otherwise, consider the other person's behavior.

6. The best teams have a blend of every behavioral type. Which allows them to make the most of everyone's strengths while minimizing weaknesses.

7. Certain combinations of behavioral types collaborate more effectively.

For example, introverts prefer to work with one another.

8. If you're not sure what behavioral type you're working with, listen for a while.

Pay attention to what they like to talk about to figure their style out.

9. Each behavioral type gets stressed and responds to stress differently.

For example, dominant types get stressed when you take their authority away.

They respond by working harder or finding a scapegoat to blame.

10. Each behavioral type responds to feedback differently.

A submissive person doesn't take well to personal feedback, keep it to the facts to prevent defensiveness.
Work on your Mental Models:

- think better
- think in new ways
- master skills to breakthrough

Understand new skills to make wiser choices and take better actions..

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Happiness Is Not Automatic.
If you really want to be happy, you have to make a conscious deliberate decision to be happy regardless of who is around you,

What is happening inside of you, or what the news headlines say. You can’t just wake up and hope that someone will make you happy.

When you wake up and after you’ve prayed, arise and walk out through your door determined to put a smile on the faces of everyone you’ll meet.

Purposefully drown the internal negative voices with praise. Intentionally confront your fears with faith. Resist the urge to respond negatively to every negative voice or negative thought.

Refuse to handover the thermostat of your life to anyone except God. Regardless of what is happening around you, before you get out of bed,

And before you interact with people, make a covenant with your mind that you’re going to be joyful in all situations. Stay happy, stay positive and enjoy every moment of the day.

Keep a smile on your face, a positive attitude on your heart, and joyful song on your lips and declare, “This is the day the LORD has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24.

√ Women Respond To LOVE.
√ Men Respond To SUBMISSION
If a Woman feels Loved, her Natural response is Submission. If a Man feels Respected, his subconscious response is Love..

Dear Brother,
You don't need to DEMAND submission, just SUPPLY Love. Dear Sister, let him be the Head, don't fight him, pamper him, LOVE will ooze out of him naturally

The character of a good Woman puts her in her husband's budget. A submissive Wife will always have a great influence over her Husband.

A Rebellious Wife will always find her Husband difficult to influence. A Woman's beauty to a Man is mainly her LOOKS but a Wife's beauty to her Husband is mainly her CHARACTER.

A Woman is a Womb, she's a multiplier, give her anything and she multiples it back to you. Give her trouble, she gives you double. A Wise Man gives his Wife peace, love, care, support and gets double of it.

PS: The above conditions and truths only apply if you are with a good person. A Bad Man/Woman will take your Love and Submission and still treat you like trash, cheat on you and abuse you.

Your greatest job in pursuit of a good relationship and marriage are (1) being the right Person and (2) finding the right Person.
Once you get those two right, you're bound to succeed with God on your side.

HOW DO YOU SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP? Consider These Seven Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship:
1 * Re-evaluate The Reasons You're Together.
2* Go Back To The Beginning. Communicate.
3 * Do Something Special Together.
4 * Cut Out External Influences.
5 * Forgive Each Other.
6 * Come Clean About One Thing.
7* Set Boundaries With Each Other.

Do you understand your loved one’s silence?

Silence is also a way to express emotions. People often become quiet when in pain because they don’t find anyone to speak to and open their hearts.

Sometimes, someone’s words, actions or life situations hurt people much that they find it hard to deal with them. If they don’t find anyone they think can understand them, they just stay quiet.

If you find your loved one has become quiet, have a conversation with them. Make them feel they are not alone, and they can count on you. Sometimes, all people need is someone they can open up to.

@dr.bhawna.gautam

#[591] #[592] #df

The man who is not ready to fulfill his God-given role has lost the moral right to demand that the wife fulfill hers.

Now, about what the pastor said..
“No matter how a man treats his wife, she should still love, understand, and smile with him..”

This is unfair and totally insensitive.

We as men, must understand that sometimes a woman is neither good or bad, neither ill mannered or virtuous, but our attitude towards them can make them exercise love or resentment.

So, yes, we can be responsible of how a woman responds by how we act.

You cannot slap her, hit her, brush her, and expect her to be all smiling. Even angels draw swords. That diplomacy is unrealistic.

So if you're gonna treat your wife badly, please be cool when she treats you badly. You know why? Because there's no peace for the wicked.
This is simple mathematics. Simple reasoning.
Do unto her what you'd love her to do to you. If you can't be her peace, you won't have peace.

If being served abuse, nonsense, crap, and rubbish in marriage, and taking it without contemplation is what makes a woman virtuous, then I wouldn't even advise my daughter/sisters to be a virtuous woman.

Please, when you've taken enough nonsense, shout for help. Scream. Leave. You cannot contain a bad man's every ill attitude and not get mad. You're not the cause, nobody could have been all sanctimonious and holy, you are human. God hates divorce, but he loves you more than he hates divorce. God hates divorce, but he cares about your peace of mind more than he cares about your status of being married. You need to realize that at all times, what God wants for you is not something that's set to kill you.

In summary, any man who wants a Queen for a wife must first learn the ways of a king.

There is a difference between the bible's description of a VIRTUOUS WOMAN, and MEN's description of it.

A pastor told me that it is såtanic for a woman to opt for divorce when she's maltreated in her marriage. That a virtuous woman, even when abused by her husband, still endures, submits, and doesn't leave the marriage, that it's the work of a woman to keep her home.

I am sorry to say, but this is a man whose level in church hierarchy as a pastor is quite prestigious.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, but then we have a culture, I see a pattern in Africa; especially the religious Nigerian setting.

That the virtuousness of a woman is a function of how much trash she can take from her man without complaining..
That her wife competence is a result of how well she can suffer in secret and smile in public.. I have read Proverbs 31 countless number of times where the term (virtuous woman) originated from and I didn't find any statement that says expressly, or suggest remotely that, "A VIRTUOUS WOMAN must take Nonsense from a man with smiles and loving kisses".

This is disturbing if this is what being virtuous mean.

Because this reduces women to elements; expected not to have feelings, expected not to have relevant dissatisfaction.

And, this pattern, empowers religious men to do whatever they want, believing that their women will respond in a default cool and calm way, even if they stãbbed them.

So, most religious men feel less responsible for their marriage condition..
Because they believe their wives response to their all messy acts will be meek.

This is so unrealistic to expect from a woman; a human.

If you stàb a man, will you not expect him to shout?
Why then do we expect a woman would be treated bad but she shouldn't speak out?
Do women have less neurological sensibilities that do not recognise pain?

We would come to the end of this gender issues when we realise that women are first humans, before gender.
Hence, more or less should not be expected from a woman than a man, she is human much as the man.

This is why I frown at what we call VIRTUOUS WOMAN..
As complementing as this might sound to an average woman, I find it vague and subtle, and could be a pointer to a pattern; a pattern that expects you to obligatorily take nonsense, and keep shut because you're a woman.

This is why when men say they want submissive wives, I blink, not because submissiveness is not cool, but because some men amongst us have conditioned submissiveness to be when they are stupid, irresponsible, uncultured, unfaithful and uncommitted, and you as a woman is calm, loving, and still understanding.

And this defies common sense.

So if I were a woman, I'd not be a virtuous woman. This kind of virtuous, I'd not be this africa religious kinda good woman. No.
It's inhumane.

When a man says he wants a virtuous woman, dig deep. It sounds sweet but could be a trap. A trap of his irresponsibility. The same bible that describe the virtuous woman also tells us the duty of a worthy husband. He must love his wife as Christ loves the church to the point of death. The bible never set out to make slaves out of women.